The Funny And Serious Blog

You say you will never forget where you were when

you heard the news On September 11, 2001.

Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room

with a man who called his wife to say "Good-Bye." I

held his fingers steady as he dialled. I gave him the

peace to say, "Honey, I am not going to make it, but it

is OK...I am ready to go."

I was with his wife when he called as she fed

breakfast to their children. I held her up as she

tried to understand his words and as she realized

he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a

woman cried out to Me for help. "I have been

knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!" I said.

"Of course I will show you the way home - only

believe in Me now."

I was at the base of the building with the Priest

ministering to the injured and devastated souls.

I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He

heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat,

with every prayer. I was with the crew as they

were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the

believers there, comforting and assuring them that their

faith has saved them.

I was in Texas, Virginia, California, Michigan, Afghanistan.

I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.

Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew

every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me

for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.

Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the

smoke and flames; "Come to Me... this way... take

my hand." Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.

But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You

may not know why, but I do. However, if you were

there in that explosive moment in time, would you have

reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey

for you. But someday your journey will end. And I

will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may

be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are

"ready to go."

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

God

During the next 60 seconds, stop whatever you are

doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it

is only 1 minute.) All you have to do is the

following:

Stop and think and appreciate God's power

in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to

Him. If you are not ashamed to do this, follow the

instructions. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of Me, I will be

ashamed of you before My Father"

If you are not ashamed, copy and send this message...only

if you believe. "Yes, I love my God. He is my

fountain of Life and My Saviour. He Keeps me going day and

night. Without Him, I am no one. But with Him, I can do

everything. Christ is my strength."

Author Unknown

The doctor told a man that masturbating before sex, often helped men
last longer during the act.
The man decided, 'What the heck, I'll try it.'
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it.
He couldn't do it in his office.
He thought about the restroom, but that was too open.
He considered an alley but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution.
On the way home from work,
he pulled his truck over on the side of the
highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to
masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at his pant leg. Not
wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut
and replied, 'What?'
He heard 'This is the police. What in the hell are you doing?'
The man replied, 'I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted.'
The cop says, 'Well, you'd better check your brakes, too, because your
truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago.'

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

The first day of class started, and the atheist professor wanted to make his first point, and let his students know where he stood.
'Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ.'
The professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'So you believe in God?'

'Absolutely.'

'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'

'Yes.'

'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Ahhh, The Bible! He considers for a moment....

'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd helped a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him.
How is Jesus good?
Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'
The student remains silent.
'No you can't, can you?' The professor takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the stu dent time to relax.

'Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student: 'From...God....'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in the world?'

'Yes sir.''Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make
everything, correct?'

'Yes.'

'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil. Since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'

Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues:
'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in the world?'

The student: 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats the question. 'Who created them?'

There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.

The professor goes to another student.

'Tell me, do you believe in Jesus Christ?'

The student's voice in confident. 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you; seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, and smelling. Have you seen Jesus?'

'No sir, I have never seen Him.'

'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus, or smelled your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies, 'I only have my faith.'

'Ahh yes, 'faith'', the professor repeats.&nb sp; 'And that's the problem science has with God: There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands silently for a moment, before asking a question of his own. 'Professor, is there such a thing as heat?'

'yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there is cold as well.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain:

'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super heat,
mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, little or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, 'cold' is just a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We can not measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy.

Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'

The room, and the professor, remain silent.

'What about darkness, professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it's the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing, and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you'd be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'My point is, professor, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed?
Can you explain how?'

'You are working off the premise of duality,' the student explains.
'You argue that there is life and then there is death; a good God, and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never been seen, much less fully understood with either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, professor, do you teach your students that we evolved from a monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course I do.'

Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester indeed!
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist, but a preacher?'

The class is in an uproar, and the student waits until the commotion has subsided.

To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'

The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The room breaks out in laughter.

'Is there anyone here who as ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, with all due respect, sir, science says that you have no brain. So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures?'

The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally he says, 'I guess they'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now,' says the student, 'you accept that there is faith, and in fact, that faith exists in life. Is there a thing called evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course there is evil. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replies, 'Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not ex ist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God.
It is just like darkness or cold, a word developed to describe the absence of God.

God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'

The professor sat down.

Amen to that!

To realize
The value of a Brother,
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one?

To realize
The value of ten years,
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years,
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year,
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months,
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month,
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week,
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute,
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second,
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for
no one

Treasure every
moment you have.

You will treasure
it even more when
You can share it with someone special

To realize the
value of a friend or family member:
Don't Wait To Lose One.